Europe, Travel, Travel Tips

Have You Ever Traveled to Meet Overseas Family? Part 2

Whether your family immigrated during colonial times like my wife’s or they immigrated in the 20th century like mine, we are all sons and daughters of people who came from someplace else.  Those of us with more recent ties to a first generation immigrant may feel a stronger pull to know that heritage.  We grew up in households where the culture of our families’ Old Country was as alive as American culture.  We’ve heard the tales and are drawn to visit that country. To know the towns where our grandparents or great grandparents came from, to see their houses, to taste their food, to experience what life is like today hoping for a glimpse of what it was like back then.

I’ve written a lot lately about the desire to know my family heritage.  I believe this desire goes hand-in-hand with my desire to travel and see the world.  Both longings dwell within me to know a place.  I traveled to Argentina because I wanted to learn more about myself through my family.  I visited Ellis Island because I wanted to relive the experience of my great grandparents arriving on that small piece of land.

Originally, I planned our trip to Italy with the intention of meeting my family there.  While we enjoy a close relationship with our relatives in Argentina, I often wonder why we don’t have the same communication with our relatives in Italy.  I don’t know of any family member who keeps in touch with them, yet at the same time, we are so proudly Italian.  As we planned our trip, I tried to change this lapse in communication.

Gateway to the Land of Opportunity

Gateway to the Land of Opportunity

With modern technology, how hard could it be to find a family contact in Italy?

I started with a phone number to a relative who lived on the Amalfi coast but the phone line always went unanswered.  Somewhere, I came across a phone number for a relative in Valsinni, my family’s village.  I dialed it one Sunday afternoon.  Somebody actually picked up but they didn’t speak English.  I tried Spanish, but that didn’t work either.  Finally, in a fit of shouts, they hung up.

Surely Facebook would eliminate the six degrees of separation! 

I looked up our family surnames, Guerra and Fagnano, in Valsinni and fired off a few emails to people who might be related to me.  I don’t speak Italian so I used Google Translate.  In the Facebook email, I included both the English and Italian version.

Hello!  I hope you can help me.  My grandfather’s family is from Valsinni.  I searched for family last names on Facebook and came across your name.  My great grandfather who came from Valsinni had a last name of Guerra.  My great grandmother had a last name of Fagnano.  We also have relatives with the last name of Liguori.  They moved to the United States in the 1910s and settled in Niles, Ohio.  My Grandfather, Joseph Guerra, visited Valsinni in the 1970s with his sister Anne Rizzi.  Their parents were Dominic and Maria Guerra.

Family is very important to me.  In May, my wife and I will travel to Italy and would like to meet relatives there.  Perhaps we could even visit Valsinni.  We have done the same with our relatives who moved from Italy to Argentina.  I have visited them in Buenos Aires and Rosario and they have visited us in the United States.  I wish to develop this same relationship with my family in Italy.

Can you help put me in contact with my family in Italy?  Perhaps we are even related?  I appreciate your help.

These messages went unanswered.  I then learned that since we weren’t friends that my messages just ended up in their Other folder with no alert.  For a dollar, I could send a message that would land in their inbox.  I paid it with yet the same lack of response.

Family Uniting for an Argentinian Asado

Family Uniting for an Argentinian Asado

Then, as our trip was a month away, a relative from Argentina reached out.  He had just been to Valsinni and met a few relatives there.  I had hope!!!  He reached out via the city government.  I tried this same method but once again, my email went unanswered.  Finally, I gave up.  Without a connection, I wasn’t willing to drive the hills of Southern Italy only to see a town but not experience the place through my family.

As I look back, I wonder what went wrong?  Could I have done something different?  Or maybe, the relatives in Italy don’t want to meet me.  Perhaps they don’t share the same connection to heritage since they are the heritage.  I don’t know.

Have you set out to meet family in a foreign land that you never met before?  What steps did you take? How did it work out?  Tell us about your experience.