Smoky Mountains – A Walk in the Woods

When presented with the options, “Would you rather watch some old hillbilly crotchet or go for an awesome adventure to see a waterfall?” by my wife’s stand-up comedian cousin, I chose waterfall adventure.  The problem with my choice was that as much as I want to be adventurous and outdoorsy, I am not.  Unless I am in an air-conditioned gym, I don’t like sweating.  Weird, I know.  I also don’t care much for bugs.  Outdoor yoga, no thank you.  I would be doing the Swatting Fly pose the entire time.

I found myself on a mountain hiking to a waterfall that our Eagle Scout tour guide could not find during one of the worst heat waves in history.  We’re talking one hundred plus temperatures.  Bugs were the least of my worries.  My shirt was soaked through, my contacts were burning from perspiration, and my back was aching from the steep uphill climb.  I looked like death.  And the worst part?  We never found the waterfall.  Eventually, we turned back in pursuit of an easier to access waterfall.

Laurel Falls, the waterfall we did find, was nice.  It was along a 1.5 mile, 45 minute paved trail.  It was also the most visited waterfall in the Smokey Mountains.  Not very Explorers’ Club.  But we did climb down and play on the rocks and splash in the water.  I even ventured a little closer trying to touch the water as it cascaded down.  I was unsuccessful due to my poor balance.  I came within feet but just couldn’t get the last footing.  I felt defeated.

I wish I had the outdoor adventure crave.  I blame my parents for this.  Camping to them was an all-inclusive resort in Mexico with okay food.  While Cousin Justin waded across a river with his one year old son strapped to his back and Cousin Jay jumped off a cliff into a pool beneath a mini-waterfall, I declined because I didn’t have a change of clothes and the thought of wet underwear all day did not sound appealing.  I missed a memorable adventure because of my inability to be uncomfortable.  I’d say next time.  But will next time really be any different?  Will I magically wake up ready to walk around in wet underwear?  I doubt it.  One can only hope.