Smoky Mountains – Up the Big Pigeon with a Paddle

August 24, 2011

I had one rule in place when I agreed to the family trip to the Great Smoky Mountains. Under absolutely no circumstances was I going to whitewater raft. No way. Wasn’t going to happen. Nope. Been there, done that. Barely lived to buy the t-shirt. Let me relay the memories of my previous whitewater experience – memories that still haunt me. It was the spring of1998. I was in college and joined…

Travel, United States

Smoky Mountains – Another Redneck Money Pit

August 23, 2011

Dave Ramsey has it all wrong. It is not the credit card companies that are driving the American consumer further into debt, it’s the marketers who exploit rednecks into buying overpriced junk. NASCAR, Daytona Beach, WWE, and the Smoky Mountains. Drive down any of the main drags in Gatlinburg, Pigeon Forge, or Sevierville – the main tourist areas of the Smoky Mountains – and you are accosted with one overpriced tourist gimmick…

Travel, United States

Smoky Mountains – A Walk in the Woods

August 14, 2011

When presented with the options, “Would you rather watch some old hillbilly crotchet or go for an awesome adventure to see a waterfall?” by my wife’s stand-up comedian cousin, I chose waterfall adventure. The problem with my choice was that as much as I want to be adventurous and outdoorsy, I am not. Unless I am in an air-conditioned gym, I don’t like sweating. Weird, I know. I also don’t care much…

Travel, United States

Smoky Mountains – A Contrast of Vacations

August 13, 2011

Growing up, my wife and I had very different ideas of vacations. Her family visited battlefields; mine visited beaches in the Caribbean. Hers explored any cavern the highway may present; mine went snorkeling in Mexico. Hers went on hikes; I walked the beach with my Dad in search of the bar with the cheapest lunch or best happy hour special. Hers camped; mine cramped into tight cabin quarters on cruise ships. Hers…